Letters to Xuan1 (3yrs old)

I've always wanted a girl, and you came right on cue. The day the doctor said, "She's a girl." I screamed out, "YES!~" Now I can braid your hair!

But wait a minute, I'm expecting to raise a tom boy, like I am, and I won't want to grow your hair, cos I'm expecting you to run around and get all messy. So what hair braiding??

You are just like me, and it shows day by day. I believe that both nature and nurture is at work. You have a temper, you want things your way, later on, you'd probably be rather competitive, and a perfectionist, if you're really like me.

But you also love books and music and moving around. You started sitting still throughout a baby book at 8mths, when your brother is still chewing them at that age. You picked up my pronounciation of words really well, and yesterday, you demonstarted reading a book with all the accurate emotions for the different characters!

You love to sing. Oh, you love to sing. Your childcare teacher told me that sometimes when you are in the mood to hold a concert, everyone would just sit down and listen to you. You've picked up some of my dance steps too. Though your father has doubts about my ability to dance, I'm sure you would turn out fine.

As much as I am excited about you going to a girls' school (like me), picking up a sport (like me), picking up an instrument, preferably Chinese instrument (like me), pick up dancing (something that I've always wanted but never really accomplished), I am very mindful that I am expecting all that of you. I want to change my mindset so that you can grow up healthily, making your own choices. I don't want you to walk in my shadow.

I want to be like your older sister, someone you'd share about your first crush, someone to giggle with when you're ready to recieve some sex education, instead of lecturing you about it. I want to be someone to share your opinions on a certain book you've read about, someone to go jogging with. I want to be your friend.

I promise I will be careful not to over shadow you, not to lead and suggest too many things. You are getting pretty loud and confident--your teacher tells me that you're like the class monitress already, and you help the younger classmates too.

I am proud of you. I love you, and I will support you with all my heart.